Right Here Waiting
by LiteratureLover34
Summary: Just something that's been on my mind since the tribute episode for Cory and Finn. Rachel searches for answers after Quinn fails to show up in the wake of Finn's death. Will be a Quinn/Rachel pairing. AU for season 5, but will mention past episodes. Starts at a T, but progresses to an M.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just something that has been on my mind since the tribute episode for Cory Monteith. I may not have been enamored with the Finn character, but I adored Cory. My heart truly goes out to the entire Glee cast, but especially Lea, who lost not just a friend and colleague, but a partner. This is a Faberry fanfiction, but I feel that Rachel really did love Finn and needs time to grieve.**

**A/N: The usual disclaimers apply.**

Chapter 1

Rachel sat quietly on the train ride back to New York. The events of the past few weeks had left her numb and hardly functional. Finn's death, funeral, and subsequent memorial had been a twisty emotional roller-coaster and she was still recovering from the ride. She had barely made it through the last few weeks and wouldn't have done so without Kurt by her side. He had kept her from breaking down and becoming lost in despair. She knew he was hurting almost as badly. They had both yelled, screamed, and cried together. The two of them had sobbed on each other's shoulders and swapped Finn stories repeatedly.

She glanced at Kurt, who was sleeping in the seat next to hers. He had bags under his eyes and his normally coiffed hair was disheveled. She took in his wrinkled clothes and haggard appearance and sighed as guilt twisted in her belly. Kurt had been her rock over the past year and especially through the last few weeks. He had seen her through so many things - moving to New York, breaking up with Finn, and dating Brody. They were rivals, best friends, and roommates. She had no idea where her life would be without him. She turned to look at her other sometime tormenter, rival, roommate, and surprisingly friend, Santanna.

She smiled a little despite her melancholy. Santanna had been a complete surprise. She had proven herself to be a good friend over the past few months. She challenged Rachel on a daily basis, often frustrating her with a willful disregard for boundaries and privacy, as well as manners. Those problems aside, Santanna had reminded Rachel of her talent and her worth and had protected her from making a huge mistake with Brody. Right now the Latina had her eyes on the scenery outside the window and was impatiently tapping her foot. Rachel often wondered where Santanna got all of that restless energy. The brunette never seemed to rest; she always had to be moving. Sometimes Rachel was frustrated by Santanna's emotional handicap. It often seemed that she was terrified of letting anyone see the sweet, sensitive person inside. For this reason, Rachel had been surprised by Santanna's breakdown at Finn's memorial. Santanna's walls were so high and so much had happened between the two of them that it was astonishing to see Santanna so broken.

Rachel's heart didn't just hurt for herself. She felt her friends' pain just as acutely. She knew that Finn was important to a great many people. Without knowing it, he had touched and influenced many lives. Finn had his faults – he had a temper, he could be selfish, and sometimes he lacked a backbone. He also had a lackluster approach to success, but he had so many important qualities. When it counted he was loyal, forgiving, funny, talented, and supportive of his friends. Rachel had seen the evidence of what Finn could achieve before he was even aware of it himself. Because of his closeness with glee, even the new kids in New Directions had her empathy. She had finally begun to see Finn embracing his potential and making a difference. To see that potential cut off so soon brought on its own pain, not just the loss of a friend and former lover. The pain of her friends, the loss of Finn's potential, and her own private anguish all swirled together in an ocean of suffering that threatened to isolate her from the people who were left behind. The memorial had been a blessing. It was a life preserver that kept her afloat until she could make her way to shore and find herself again.

Finn's death had left Rachel shaken. The knowledge that she had to rearrange her dreams and life plan without Finn had left Rachel in pieces and despite Mr. Shue trying to reassure her that there might be something better, Rachel just couldn't imagine it. She had mapped out her future too many times. She would have a career on Broadway, cut an album, and star in a movie. She would garner the coveted EGOT and get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She would then retire and settle down with Finn and raise a family. Rachel would now have to remove Finn from the picture and that knowledge had her reeling. For so long, Finn had been her support and her shoulder. She needed to find her footing again.

Leaning her head on Kurt's shoulder, she closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander back to Finn's memorial. Despite the circumstances, it had been wonderful to see some of her friends. It was like being surrounded by warmth and understanding. She had missed Noah and his delinquent ways and Mercedes and her diva attitude, and Sam and his impressions. But even surrounded by her friends and wrapped up in her own pain, Rachel wanted comfort from someone else. She had unconsciously looked for Quinn, but the former cheerleader never showed, causing a wave of fresh pain in Rachel's chest. She needed her friend, the person she admired most, to be there. She wanted to hear Quinn's smoky voice and see those expressive hazel eyes. Kurt and Santanna had been wonderful, but Rachel inexplicably wanted Quinn.

Quinn's absence had caused a myriad of emotions to course through Rachel. Confusion, anger, and hurt led the pack, although frustration, loneliness, and disappointment were mixed in as well. Quinn had been pulling away in recent months. It had started after Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury's failed wedding and Rachel was at a loss to explain it. They had traded emails and texts and even Skyped a few times, but after the wedding debacle Quinn seemingly vanished. Rachel's emails and texts went unanswered and her calls always clicked over to voice-mail. Rachel had been planning to visit Quinn to confront her and the situation, but Finn's death and the aftermath had put those ideas on the back-burner.

Rachel sighed as she snuggled into Kurt and sent Santanna a weak smile. She would just try and sleep for a little while before they got to the city. Maybe a nap would clear the cobwebs in her mind and the ache in her heart. Her last thought as she drifted to sleep was that Quinn needed one hell of an explanation for her recent behavior.

**A/N: The next chapter will deal with Quinn and what's been going on in her life.**

** Please rate and review. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I know that many people are angry at Dianna for not being in the memorial episode, but we should all remember that she had other commitments due to her movie releasing. This chapter will deal with Quinn and why she didn't/couldn't go to the memorial for Finn. Be prepared for some angst. Usual disclaimers: I don't own anything.**

Chapter 2

The alarm blared unforgivingly at 6:30 a.m. Quinn threw off her covers with a huff and stretched the kinks out of her body. The cold weather in New Haven wreaked havoc on her former injuries. Her back and legs often ached. Climbing out of bed carefully, she headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. Once in the shower, with the hot water turned up, Quinn broke down and began sobbing. She hadn't stopped crying for weeks. Every day, without fail, she cried in the shower. Horrible racking sobs that left her feeling raw and aching. Finn's death had devastated her and left her feeling angry and guilty. All she saw were the mistakes she had made with him. Her lies and betrayal of his trust, the disappointment of their relationship failing not once, but twice, and other memories all knotted together in her chest. Her heart hurt and she was lost in a maze of guilt and anger.

Almost all of the gleeks had called or emailed to tell her the news and invite her to the memorial, but she couldn't make herself go. She was so angry. She was mad at Finn for dying. How dare he do this to everyone. She was mad at herself for being angry with him and she was most of all she felt tormented over how much she had hated him and loved him in almost equal measure. The guilt and grief she felt only fed her anger. She had taken their friendship for granted and she had let her feelings keep them apart, but the worst part was knowing why she hated him more than she had loved him. Quinn felt burdened for hating him, because he had the one thing she wanted and didn't deserve.

Quinn choked back her tears and finished her shower. She put her walls up and plastered her cool and disinterested smile on her face as she dressed and headed to the school cafeteria for breakfast. She just couldn't face anyone from McKinley. There were too many memories and emotions. If she went to Finn's memorial, it would break her. Her walls would crumble and there would be nothing left. So she held tight to her emotions and willed herself to face the day.

* * *

Quinn held her books to her chest as she hurried across campus to her next class. Her legs and back still ached. New Haven was having an early onset of frigid weather even though it was still early fall . The cold bleak weather reflected her mood. She entered her building and quickly found her classroom. The blonde sighed in relief as she sank into her chair and shed her coat and scarf. She glanced around the auditorium at the dozen other students in her English class. Quinn had wanted to explore literature, as it was a love of her, so she had enrolled in an elective class that looked at the correlation between literature and film. So far the class had read and watched Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz. Quinn loved Alice in Wonderland: it had been her favorite book for many years and it had been wonderful to immerse herself in the story and compare it to the film. She sometimes yearned to escape to places like Neverland, Wonderland, and Oz. Her musings were interrupted by the professor, who was introducing their next novel, Stardust.

Quinn's emotions, which had been on a tight leash since the morning, were let loose. The mere mention of stars and true love was enough to cause tears. In an effort to escape the suddenly claustrophobic auditorium, the blonde stood up, quickly gathered her things, and rushed from the room.

Once outside, Quinn took deep breaths in an attempt to keep calm. Feeling herself starting to hyperventilate, she grabbed her phone and opened the photos. Her breathing immediately started to calm when her eyes found the picture of herself and Rachel smiling at the camera. Santanna had taken that the night the three of them went out to dinner in New York. It was Quinn's favorite picture and she looked at it at least once a day, more since Finn's death. It soothed and calmed her.

Still staring at the phone, the blonde took refuge on a bench. Looking at the photo of Rachel, she felt the heaviness of guilt press on her chest once again. She had wanted to support Rachel and offer comfort after Finn's passing, but couldn't make herself go. The knowledge that Rachel had been hurting added to the pressure in Quinn's heart. Absently, she pulled the train pass out of her pocket and ran her fingers over the letters. The pass was well-worn, despite only having used it a few times. Quinn often fingered the plastic, longing to visit her friends.

She had begun removing herself from their lives after Mr. Shue's failed nuptials. Her main purpose in attending had been to catch up with her friends. She had especially been looking forward to seeing Rachel, but never got a chance because Finn monopolized the little brunette's time. Quinn had seen them disappear into the hotel together. Bitterly jealous and more than a little drunk, Quinn had hooked up with Santanna.

Although Quinn regretted the reason behind having sex with Santanna, she did not regret the act itself. It only confirmed something she had suspected for some time. What caused Quinn the most pain that fateful weekend was the fact that Rachel had ignored her. The little diva hadn't even said hello. Hurt and angry, Quinn had dejectedly decided to slowly withdraw from Rachel's life. It was obvious that the brunette would never see anyone but Finn and for her own sanity, Quinn needed to move on and find someone else. Only a masochist would try and remain friends with the object of her affections.

The process was easy at first. Rachel didn't contact her at all for several weeks and feeling more than a little weird about her liaison with Santanna, she didn't make an effort either. In fact, Quinn only heard about Rachel's auditions through Santanna. The only message she received from the diva was part of a mass text telling everyone about her callback for Fanny. It was soon after that Rachel began the barrage of messages. The girl emailed, texted, and called every day for two weeks. By that point, Quinn was wounded by the diva's ability to forget about her and refused to acknowledge the messages. Quinn felt that Rachel only remembered her because of Finn, not for her own merit.

Almost on cue, the blonde's cellphone pinged with a new message from Rachel: _Where are you? Please tell me you're ok_. _I really want to talk to you._ Quinn's fingers hovered over the screen as she debated whether or not to reply. Before she could change her mind the Yale student pressed a few buttons and hit send.

**A/N: Slight cliffhanger for you. Rate and review please and be kind, as I'm new to writing stories. Feedback helps me improve. All mistakes are mine as I don't have a beta. **

**What do you think of Quinn and Rachel? They have some issues to resolve before romance can even be on the table. Be patient.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am overwhelmed by the alerts and favorites for this story. It's gratifying as a new author. I will try to incorporate constructive suggestions. Thank you! The usual disclaimers apply.**

Chapter 3

Rachel stared at her phone, willing it to ring or chime with a response from Quinn. She waited impatiently for ten minutes before throwing her phone at the couch in frustration. Grabbing a blanket, she curled into a ball of misery on the cushions. Everything was changing so quickly. She had gone from being a loser to having friends and a wonderful boyfriend to being in her favorite city living out her dreams. How had it all crashed so quickly? The boy she had loved was dead and the girl she had struggled so hard to be friends with had seemingly disappeared from her life. Rachel wanted to know why. She wanted to confront Quinn and get to the bottom of whatever it was that had caused this rift between them.

The phone pinged and Rachel almost fell off the couch trying to reach it. She glanced at the screen expecting to see a message from Quinn, but her heart sank when she saw that it was just a reminder from her calender. The core cast of Funny Girl was reading through the script that night to work on timing and dialogue. What should have been a moment of triumph for Rachel was overshadowed by her grief over Finn and her confusion over Quinn.

She looked over to the kitchen table where Santana was busy texting and muttering curses under her breath. The Latina stood up and began pacing the kitchen. The girl's phone rang a she held a terse, clipped conversation with the person on the other end.

"You can't do this! Of all the stupid things you've done, this is the dumbest. Don't you know how much this will hurt her? There was a pause as Santanna listened. "Bullshit! I get it, I really do, but wouldn't you rather be a part of her life? The other person was yelling through the phone. "Fine. I've got your back, even if I don't agree."

Rachel had been watching her roommate pace around the kitchen, flailing her hands and yelling. Wanting to know what was going on, she cocked her head and padded over to her friend.

"Everything okay, Santanna? You're not fighting with Dani are you?"

Santanna furrowed her brows at Rachel and set down her phone. "No chica, just someone I know being stupid. Dani and I are fine." How're you doing, Midget?"

Rachel smiled a little at the nickname, once said in disdain and now said with affection. "I'm doing as well as can be expected. I'm still numb from everything that's happened. I never thought that I would feel so broken about things in my life."

Santanna stood up and wrapped her arms around the little diva. Rachel buried her face in the taller brunette's shoulder and sniffled. Strong arms stroked her back gently. "I miss him too." Santanna said quietly. "I was always so mean to him. I never got to thank him or tell him what he meant to me."

Rachel raised her head to gaze into Santanna's teary eyes. She smiled sympathetically. "Finn knew you cared about him, Santanna. He cared about you too," Rachel soothed. "But don't change the subject. What's going on with you? Why were you so angry a minute ago?"

The little diva watched surprise, frustration, and guilt skirt over Santanna's face. The Latina tried to compose her expression, but it was too late, Rachel knew something was up. Santanna's reply did little to dissuade Rachel from her conclusion. "It's nothing, Hobbit. I'm just trying to talk a friend out of doing something stupid and completely self-destructive. She's being an idiota and I apparently can't stop it."

Rachel knew that she had to proceed with caution. "It must be someone close to you for you to be this upset," she said carefully.

Santanna glowered, "Ugh, I can't believe I'm a part of this!" The brunette wouldn't meet Rachel's gaze as she launched into her explanation. "A friend of mine is hurting and she's making the biggest mistake of her life. She's not going after something she wants. Instead, she's planning to ignore it and hope it goes away."

Rachel frowned and her eyebrows furrowed as she considered the problem. "Well from my own personal experience with you, you don't give up. Just don't give up on your friend. I'm sure she'll come around. Otherwise you might have to go all 'Lima Heights adjacent' right?" She grinned at Santanna, hoping that would calm the other girl's ire.

"Thanks, Rach. I'm just not sure it's that easy this time. Qu..my friend is about to do something that's going to cause herself a lot of pain down the road, and not just for her. I'm supposed to have her back and this time it's not going to be enough. I'll just have to pick up the pieces as usual." Santanna sighed.

The diva's ears perked up at Santanna's slip. She was almost certain that Santanna was talking about Quinn. "Maybe I can help. What exactly is your friend..." She was cut off as Kurt walked into the kitchen, his normally perfectly coiffed hair disheveled from his nap. He was frowning as he was reading something on his phone.

"Santanna! What the hell is up with..." Kurt stopped talking as he looked up and took in Rachel sitting at the kitchen table with the Latina. "Never mind," he spluttered, obviously taken off guard by the diva's presence. "So what are our plans today ladies? I don't have band rehearsal until later. Santanna, don't forget you're singing with us next week. We need to shake off some of this melancholy. Finn wouldn't want us to be so depressed."

Rachel allowed herself to be pulled into a discussion about touring the city, climbing the Empire State building, and going to Canal Street. Kurt and Santanna had decided that it would be the perfect day to throw off some of their sadness. Inwardly the diva was fuming. She knew that something was up with Quinn and her roommates. They were all involved in keeping something from her and she decided then and there to get to the bottom of things.

**A/N: There you go! Rachel suspects something is wrong with Quinn. Stay tuned to see what happens. Will Quinn be moving on? How will Rachel get to the bottom of the conspiracy? Rate and review please. It helps the writing process!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: In response to a review; it is spring. The weather is cold because New Haven is experiencing a cold snap (and thank you for pointing out that I didn't clarify that). In my experience, the northern part of the U.S. can still experience winter weather even in the months of April. Thank you for all the alerts, favorites, and reviews. It's very motivating. **

**A/N2:The usual disclaimers still apply. I don't own anything but my OC Jamie. Don't kill me after you read this chapter. **

Chapter 4

Quinn wiped away some tears that had slipped through. It was done. She had texted both Santanna and Kurt, demanding that they keep Rachel away from her. Both of them had been understandably confused and angry. Quinn ignored the voice in her head (that sounded a lot like Santanna) that was telling her what a bad idea this all was. The blonde determined that she would move on from her feelings for Rachel, even if it meant cutting her others friends out of her life as well.

Checking her phone, Quinn realized that she was running late for her society meeting. Rising quickly, she bumped into a tall, lanky brunette with mesmerizing blue eyes. The girl's arms shot out to steady the blonde, who had stumbled.

"Sorry, sorry," Quinn cried, "I'm just a little stiff from the cold."

"It's okay." The taller girl smiled. "I'm just glad I caught you before you fell. I'm Jamie." The taller girl offered her hand.

Quinn clasped the offered hand. "I'm Quinn. It's nice to meet you. I'm glad you caught me as well." She contemplated a moment and came to a decision. It was time to put herself out there and put Rachel in the past. "Maybe you should stick close to me. You never know if I might need saving again," she flirted nervously. She knew how to work the mojo on guys, but she was unsure whether or not the same tactics worked on girls.

Jamie blinked, then grinned at the obviously anxious blonde. "First time flirting with a girl?" She questioned bluntly.

Quinn looked sheepish as she nodded. "I'm from a small town. Homosexuality wasn't exactly embraced there. I've only recently come to terms with it myself."

"Well luckily for you, this is a campus with a large LGBT population and support system. There is an Alumni Association as well as Coop, which is a student based group on campus. There are official and nonofficial events all the time. I think we even have a booth for tailgating at football games."

Quinn's eyes were wide at the bombardment of information. She was only peripherally aware of the LGBT group on campus and now that she had decided to embrace it, she was a little overwhelmed at the data being thrown her way. "Wow. I knew Yale was accepting, but I didn't know it was that intense."

Jamie grinned. "Sorry about about overloading you there. Would you like to grab a coffee some time? If I don't hurry, I'm going to miss my next class. Professor Lofton doesn't like it when student are late." She grabbed Quinn's hand and hurriedly scribbled her number into the blonde's palm. "Call or text me and we'll get together soon. It was nice meeting you," the lanky brunette called out over her shoulder as she jogged away.

Quinn stood in shock for a moment, before springing into action. She quickly saved Jamie's number in her phone, gathered up her stuff, and headed to her meeting. Suddenly the day seemed a little brighter and her melancholy lifted.

* * *

A few hours later, Quinn's tennis shoes were pounding the dirt as she ran. Her meeting had gone well and she had made plans with Jamie for later that evening, but right now her mind was blissfully blank as she circled the track. Running was a way for her to clear her mind, not just stay in shape. For a brief time it had been a way to escape her feelings and channel them into a more productive outlet.

Today she had extra turmoil to avoid. Her her decisions from earlier in the afternoon haunted her and caused some vigorous internal debate. After the society met that afternoon, she had gone to the phone company and changed her number. She had also made a new email address and had unfriended most of her former teammates from glee on Facebook. Quinn knew that she was taking drastic measures, but the best way to leave the past behind was to go cold turkey. After all the Fabray motto was avoidance.

The blonde jogged a few cool down laps and sat down to stretch. She had to get back to her room to shower and get ready for her date. Her stomach fluttered nervously at the word date. This would be her first true foray into the world of lesbian dating and she was anxious about it.

Once back in her room, Quinn showered quickly. Wrapped in a soft towel, she stood in front of her tiny dorm room closet, trying to decide what to wear. She finally decided on black skinny jeans with knee-high black boots, paired with a soft, camel colored turtleneck that was loose around the shoulders. Her hair was in a loose up-do. She finalized the look with light makeup and a black hand purse. With one last glance in the mirror she headed out the door.

* * *

Jamie had picked a great location for a first date. She had chosen a small coffeehouse that was showcasing a string quartet along with a small exhibition of local artists. The atmosphere was relaxed and casual, which immediately calmed Quinn's jittery nerves. She looked around and saw the tall brunette seated at a table in the corner of the room. The blonde took a moment to take in her companion for the evening. Jamie was dressed in a tight black skirt, tall black boots, and a soft blue cowl-necked sweater and her wavy brown hair was pulled into a loose ponytail.

The lanky brunette spotted Quinn and waved her over to the table. Quinn took a deep breath and moved toward her date. She gracefully dropped into her seat and sent the other girl a tremulous smile. She really wanted this to go well.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm so excited by the response I'm getting for this story. I've already had over 1,000 views. It motivates me to write. Thanks again for all those who take time to leave a comment. This chapter is short, but it definitely sets some things in motion.**

**A/N2: Alas, I still don't own anything.**

Chapter 5

"Hey, glad I caught you," Jamie leaned down a gave Quinn a soft kiss. "I've got a writing lab tonight, so I can't make it for our date. Rain check?"

"That's fine. I need to finish up a few of my own assignments. Staying out late with you is putting me behind," Quinn teased affectionately.

"Cool. Are we still on for this weekend?"

Quinn blushed and murmured a soft 'yes.'

"Hey, hey, no pressure. We're taking this as slow as you need. I know that you're still nervous about being intimate. Whenever you're ready, K?" Jamie responded with a tender smile.

"Thanks for being so understanding about this, but I'm ready. If I get uncomfortable I'll let you know." Quinn smiled softly up at Jamie.

"Ok, as long as you're sure." Jamie glanced at her watch. "Uh oh, gotta run or I'll be late, see ya later!" With one more quick peck, the brunette rushed off to class.

Quinn smiled as she watched the taller girl weave through the crowd to get to class. They had been dating for two weeks and were going to spend the weekend together. Quinn's roommates were all leaving for the weekend, so it would be a trial run without any interference. Quinn was understandably nervous about the prospect of being intimate with someone new. Her past relationships had all been spectacular failures, especially that ill-advised affair with her married professor.

The affair had just been a stupid way to avoid her problems. She had been lonely and overwhelmed at being truly alone for the first time. There was no Unholy Trinity, cheerleading, or glee to keep her distracted. Thankfully, Santanna had literally slapped some sense into her. Quinn shook off her distracting thoughts as she gathered her stuff for study group in the library.

As she trekked across campus to the library, Quinn's thoughts turned to Jamie. She was so grateful to the girl for being so sweet and patient. Their dates were casual and fun, but never too romantic. Jamie respected that Quinn had insecurities and reservations about being gay, so she never pushed too hard. Instead the brunette displayed her understanding by keeping things simple. Quinn was still surprised at how much fun she and Jamie could have on an informal date. It turned out that the two of them were very compatible. They shared common interests in literature and music, which was important to Quinn. They were both also seasoned athletes. Jamie had been a star volleyball player in high school. Often, the two of them would go for a run together and then just take a walk and share lighthearted conversation. It was exactly the kind of low-key, pressure free relationship that Quinn needed.

Once in the library, Quinn located her study group and got to work. Her test over The Cold War and its impact was next week, and she still had to put the finishing touches on her English essay. As she and her group reviewed flash cards and notes, she lost herself in her studies and forgot all about her burgeoning relationship.

Hours later, Quinn returned to her dorm room and threw herself on the bed in exhaustion. Her study session had gone well and she was more than prepared for her exam; she had even managed to finish proofreading her essay. Before she fell asleep Quinn forced herself to change into pajamas and brush her teeth before texting Jamie. Those tasks done she crawled into bed and promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Quinn had never felt this nervous. Jamie had pulled out all the stops for their date and it was the first one that was truly romantic in nature. There had been flowers along with wine and a romantic dinner in a fancy restaurant. Now that the date was winding down, however, nerves threatened to overwhelm her. They were spending the weekend together and despite her experience with Santanna, Quinn was overcome by anxiety. She felt herself calm as Jamie took her hand.

The weather had finally warmed up enough for the two of them to walk back to the dorms. As they walked they chatted and laughed. It was easy and natural. Safe. As they ambled down the city streets Quinn felt her trepidation ease. She was ready for the next step in their relationship. She had made the decision to move on and she had been so lucky to find a wonderful person like Jamie. They soon arrived on campus and headed straight to Quinn's room.

Earlier in the day, Jamie had dropped off her bag at Quinn's dorm. Now they were poised outside her room with Jamie softly stroking her cheek. The taller brunette leaned in and brushed her lips across Quinn's. Quinn allowed the girl to deepen the kiss as she fumbled with the door. The couple broke apart and the former cheerleader gently tugged on her date's arm and they disappeared into her room.

**A/N: I hear pitchforks being sharpened and guns being loaded. Stay tuned... Please rate and review. It helps the process.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hopefully this kicks some things into high gear. As usual I don't own anything but my imagination and the character Jamie.**

**A/N2: Some people are upset about Quinn and Jamie. Don't lose hope! Everything happens for a reason. Rachel is still grieving and Quinn needs to learn to love some things about herself before she can truly love Rachel.**

Chapter 6

Rachel was beyond frustrated. She was pissed, and a pissed Rachel Berry was often reckless and a reckless Rachel Berry often did things that were completely impulsive and thoughtless. An impulsive and thoughtless Rachel sent competitors to crack houses or stuffed ballot boxes. She fumed silently as she mentally reviewed known information.

For the last few weeks Santanna and Kurt had been acting weird and Rachel just couldn't put her finger on why or how. On the surface everything was the same; they still worked together at the diner and did band rehearsal, but there was an undercurrent of something that had the diva's sixth sense tingling. The little songbird knew that her roommates were hiding something and she determined to figure out what.

On top of that issue was the sudden inability to contact Quinn. Emails came back undelivered, Quinn's Facebook now blocked her, and the blonde's cellphone number was disconnected. Although she had been distracted by certain circumstances like Finn's death and her role as Fanny, Rachel soon easily pieced together that whatever conspiracy was afoot involved her roommates and a completely elusive blonde.

After constantly bombarding the former cheerleader with emails and texts, Rachel had been dejected when she didn't receive and answer. That sadness soon turned to hurt and anger over the rudeness Quinn was exhibiting. She and Quinn had worked so hard to finally become friends, even something like best friends. They had been close once. The shared grief over Beth and Shelby, the revealed insecurities at prom, and the determined perseverance over Quinn's injuries had finally made them more than glee members; it had made them almost best friends.

When asking probing questions of both Santanna and Kurt, the latter had broken down and revealed that Quinn had told both him and Santanna that she was leaving the past behind so she could embrace her future. She was cutting all contact with everyone and everything that reminded her of home, except her mother.

Hearing the echo of something Quinn had once told her struck Rachel deeply. When Kurt had also revealed that Quinn specifically stated that she no longer wanted to hear from Rachel, the diva had almost hopped on the next train right then and there. She wanted to get to the bottom of whatever it was that had suddenly caused this massive rift between them. She hurriedly packed and was walking out the door when Santanna marched over and got in Rachel's way.

"Kurt, you might wanna leave the room so's I can slap some sense into the hobbit."

"Santanna!" Kurt exclaimed, even as he nodded and grabbed his coat to head outside.

"What is going on, Santanna?" Rachel demanded in her best diva tone.

"Pipe down, Shorty, before's I have to channel Snix to deal with you. Quinn has her reasons for doing this; they're shitty and selfish reasons but whatever. Don't even think about doing anything or I'll sneak into your room at night and shave your head." Santanna growled menacingly at Rachel. "Just give this to Quinn and for once stop only thinking of yourself."

Rachel huffed indignantly. Santanna's accusation hurt. All she wanted was an explanation for Quinn's withdrawal from her life. Was that really too much to ask? Knowing that she wouldn't be able to get past Santanna, she had nodded resignedly and headed back to her room to unpack.

* * *

Rachel had finally managed to sneak away to go visit (i.e. confront) Quinn. Elliot and Dani both couldn't make it to band rehearsal, so Kurt and Santanna had both picked up a shift at the diner thinking that Rachel had Funny Girl rehearsals. What they didn't know was that a pipe had broken and her rehearsals had been rescheduled, so she was taking the opportunity hop on a train before they missed her.

She had noticed that part of her roommates' new behavior was that neither of them left her alone for more than a few minutes. Because they worked together, lived together, and (in Kurt's case) went to school together, the little diva could never escape.

Finally, she was safely on the train to New Haven. Luckily Santanna had never found the train pass to New Haven in all of her snooping. Truthfully, Rachel was a little ashamed that she hadn't used it until now. Guilt and excited coiled together in her belly as the train jerked to a start. She checked her phone; shifts on Friday at the diner didn't end for another four to five hours. That would give her plenty of time get to Quinn before anyone could think to stop her.

* * *

Rachel kept herself occupied on the train by going over what she would say to Quinn. Earlier in the school year, Quinn had emailed a copy of her class schedule and her residence hall and room number. In her spare time without Santanna and Kurt breathing her neck, the diva had researched the residence halls at Yale, looked up directions, and formulated a meticulous plan for talking to Quinn.

It was already dark when the train pulled into New Haven. As she exited the train, the little brunette dragged her bag behind her as she looked for a taxi. Circumstances had forced Rachel to get an evening train, so she would almost certainly have to spend the night. Thanks to skills honed in New York, she quickly hailed a taxi and rattled off her destination.

The driver easily found the campus and pulled up to Quinn's residence. Rachel took a moment to gape at the impressive architecture that was slightly Gothic in nature. The elegance and beauty of the campus was apparent even in the darkness and Rachel was once again proud of Quinn for her achievement.

After locating another student to get some help, Rachel was climbing the stairs to Quinn's hallway. She paused momentarily in front of the blonde's door. Before knocking she took a deep breath to quell the butterflies. Her timid knock sounded loud to her own ears. A loud bump from behind the door prompted her to press an ear to the door. She heard muffled giggles and a few muttered curses before the door was wrenched open and Quinn Fabray was standing before her.

Rachel's enthusiastic greeting died on her lips as she took in the blonde's tousled hair, hooded eyes, and swollen lips. The stunned blonde girl was wrapped in a blanket and her dark hazel eyes were trained on the little brunette. Gathering herself, the diva opened her mouth to verbalize her thoughts only to find herself speechless once again when a tall, lanky brunette appeared and draped her arm around Quinn's waist.

**A/N3: I know. I'm evil. Rate and review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Nothing belongs to me or some things would be very different on the show. I was so excited about this chapter that I posted it early. Thank you again for all of the follows and reviews. Keep them coming!**

Chapter 7

Everything seemed to freeze. Time stood still and all the air rushed from her lungs. It was too much. Quinn watched all the color drain from Rachel's face before bright, angry eyes met hers. They were locked together and she couldn't look away. She was barely aware of Jamie's arm around her waist. It wasn't until Jamie spoke that Quinn was pulled out of her stupor.

"Hi, I'm Jamie, Quinn's...friend." The lanky girl shifted the robe around her shoulders and stuck a hand out to Rachel in greeting.

Rachel grasped the other girl's hand and shook it woodenly, her eyes glued to Quinn's face. "I..it's nice to m..meet you, Jamie," she stuttered. Without warning the little diva's knees suddenly gave out and she stumbled forward. Quinn barely caught her and she looked on horrified as the brunette began to hyperventilate.

Quinn cradled the little brunette while Jamie darted to the kitchen to get a paper bag. Quinn snatched it from her and tried to help Rachel regulate her breathing. Unfortunately Rachel had worked herself into such a state that she lost consciousness.

In a blind panic, with tears streaming down her face, Quinn leaned over and gave Rachel a few puffs of air using mouth to mouth. Looking down at the brunette, her heart eased a little when she noted the regulating heartbeat and breathing. She easily picked up the songbird and gently laid her on the couch before tucking a blanket around her tiny frame.

"Is she the one who broke your heart?"

Quinn shut her eyes at the question and turned to Jamie, her expression blank as she addressed the taller girl before moving to get dressed. "Yes, she did. I've been in love with her since high school."

Jamie looked at Quinn thoughtfully with a soft smile. "I've always known that you were in love with someone else. Every once in awhile you would get this haunted look on your face." Quinn looked ashamed, but Jamie cut her off, "Why haven't you confronted her with your feelings?"

"I just can't!" Quinn cried.

"Why not?" Jamie murmured quietly, "You can at least try."

With tears streaming Quinn choked out, "Rachel would never love me! She loved Finn and now he's gone. Dead! And here I am left with my regrets and my memories. Even if I wanted to try I can't do anything when she's vulnerable. That's why I let her go." Quinn took a deep breath before dropping her voice to a harsh whisper, "Being her friend is too hard. It nearly killed me in high school when we would hand out or talk. Once, she asked if we were friends and the only answer I could give her was 'kind of'. How could we be friends when I've always felt so much more."

Jamie gathered the blonde into her arms as Quinn sobbed out her anguish. She was crying for Rachel, for Finn, and for Jamie, but most of all she cried for the hopelessness of her situation.

Quinn's sobs were quieting when there was movement on the couch. The blonde looked up at Jamie in a panic. "I cant' be here, I'm not ready for this." She disentangled herself from the tall brunette, grabbed her purse, and rushed from the room.

* * *

Rachel's head was pounding and her throat was dry. For one brief moment she thought she had been out drinking with Kurt and Santanna. It wasn't until she sat up that she noticed her unfamiliar surroundings. A bottle of water filled her vision and she'd already grabbed it and drank half the bottle before it registered that she wasn't alone. She looked up through bleary eyes at a tall, gorgeous brunette, who was holding two ibuprofen in her outstretched hand.

"Thanks," Rachel croaked out. She didn't recognize the gruffness in her voice and frowned. "What happened?"

"You...um...had a panic attack and passed out. Quinn gave you some breathing assistance, but you seemed to recover quickly, so there was no need to call anybody." Jamie hesitated before asking, "Do you remember anything?"

The diva rubbed at the painful spot on her forehead as she gathered her thoughts. "Yes. I...I'm sorry I interrupted your date or whatever this was tonight? I don't know what came over me. Suddenly I couldn't breathe; it felt like my lungs just stopped working for a moment."

Jamie was sympathetic, "It's okay, Rachel. I know it was a kind of a shock and everything."

Rachel looked up and her expression dimmed when she noticed the lack of a certain blonde. "Where's Quinn?"

"I don't know. She saw that you were waking up and she left."

Chocolate filled with tears. "Why? We used to be friends and now she won't even talk to me anymore!"

Jamie sighed and sat down next to the little diva. "So what are you going to do about it? If you guys are friends you need fix it."

Rachel squared her shoulders and nodded.

* * *

Quinn had fled her room and taken a walk to calm herself down. After wandering aimlessly for what seemed like hours, she had found herself at the track. Since running was a release for her, she had immediately run until her lungs burned. Now, sweaty and both mentally and physically exhausted, Quinn made the painful trek back to her room.

She opened the door and immediately stilled when she saw Rachel sitting primly on her bed. Before she could turn and run, the diva had pounced on her and engulfed her in a hug. Quinn breathed in the soft scent of vanilla and Rachel and, before she could stop herself, melted into the embrace. The blonde was too weak to fight her feelings, so she reveled in the feel of the diva in her arms. They stood locked together in an embrace until, at Rachel's urging, Quinn got in her shower. She stood underneath the hot water for what seemed like hours, trying to delay the inevitable.

Steam billowed through the doorway when Quinn left the bathroom. She noticed the diva, already in pajamas, lying in her bed and reading. The moment she realized Quinn was in the room Rachel scrambled up from her position on the bed and made a beeline for the blonde. Before she could even open her mouth, Quinn croaked out, "Not right now, Rachel. I just can't handle it tonight. Can we just go to bed?" She was just too emotionally depleted to deal with anything from the little brunette.

Rachel nodded, "I... er... changed your sheets and grabbed a few blankets. It seems you're getting another cold front tonight. I can't believe it's almost May. It feels like December out there."

Quinn nodded feebly as she settled into her blankets. She smothered her surprise when Rachel curled up behind her. The little diva gathered Quinn in her arms and whispered, "Just sleep. We'll deal with things in the morning."

The blonde couldn't control the shiver that ran through her body as Rachel's warm lips grazed her ear. Quinn was so grateful for the brunette's closeness even as she berated herself for reacting to it. She closed her eyes and willed sleep to come as she snuggled into the brunette's warmth and prayed that she would survive their inevitable conversation tomorrow.

**A/N2: I know it's used in lots of Faberry fanfiction but I just couldn't resist having them sleep in the same bed. Up next: Will Quinn finally reveal her feelings to the right person. Rate and review please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** **I do not own Glee, which is unfortunate, because the current writers are really pissing me off, although Thursday's episode was pretty good. Stay tuned to my gleeverse, which has Faberry as endgame. **

Chapter 8

The morning was quiet. Flickers of light from the windows made the only movement in the otherwise still room. Rachel didn't know how long she'd been in this position because time was as frozen as the room. Sometime during the night the two girls had shifted. Instead of spooning they were face to face and the brunette was securely locked in Quinn's arms. She was warm and content in the blonde's embrace. For the first time since Finn's death, the brunette felt peaceful and at rest.

Because her internal clock was so precise, Rachel knew that she'd been awake since around six-thirty. Since then, she had no idea how much time had passed, nor did she care. She was content with her current status and was putting it to good use. The brunette had traced over Quinn's features with her eyes multiple times, never tiring of the beauty that was Quinn Fabray, the girl who was sometimes such an enigma. She was simultaneously fragile and strong, bold and shy, and hot and cold. It was the combination that had always drawn Rachel in, especially in high school. She recalled their last year of school as she unabashedly gazed at the blonde. Senior year had the two of them spending more time together both in glee and outside of it, forming a seemingly impossible friendship. Her life was somehow incomplete without Quinn.

During her musings, the brunette noticed a faint scar on the blonde's collarbone. She teared up when she realized the convergence of the dates. It was just about this time last year when Quinn had almost died in that horrific accident. The diva shivered at the knowledge that she had come so close to losing Quinn and subconsciously pulled her closer. She was still shocked by the fact that Quinn hadn't blamed her. Rachel blinked back tears at the memories that flooded her mind: the way the car looked like a crushed soda can, the nights of hospital vigils, and the blonde in a wheelchair in the hallways at school.

She was brought out of her reverie when she sniffled and Quinn's eyes snapped open. Rachel's wet brown eyes met red-rimmed pools of hazel that were filled with some foreign emotion. Before Rachel could blink, Quinn shuttered her eyes and they hardened in the early morning light. The brunette's throat closed up at the despair and defeat she saw on Quinn's face.

* * *

Unbeknownst to Rachel, Quinn had been awake for several minutes before she opened her eyes. The blonde took a few moments to commit to memory the feeling of lying in the brunette's arms. It wasn't too long, however, before it became overwhelming. The diva's probing eyes were like a physical caress on her body and Quinn finally couldn't take it anymore. The pressure on her heart was screaming at her to kiss the brunette and it took colossal control to resist the temptation.

She had abruptly opened her eyes and seen the awestruck expression that Rachel wore. That sparked hope within her until she forced herself to push the diva away. She had almost softened at the sight of glistening brown eyes, but she held firm. Quinn pulled back from the diva and rose from the bed. In her haste she got tangled in the sheets. That combined with sore muscles and aches from old injuries caused her to fall to the ground. Rachel hurried to her side, but Quinn shook her off. "Don't touch me!"

"But, Quinn, I just want to help."

"I said get away from me! Why did you even come here. I thought even you would be smart enough to take a hint."

"I'm here because we're friends."

"We were never friends, not really. I was stupid to think that I could do this with you!"

Rachel felt like she'd been slapped. She rolled her shoulders and hardened her own gaze as she stared down at the blonde. Before she even thought about it she had grabbed Quinn's arm and yanked her upward. "What's going on with you?" Rachel roared, incensed. She wrapped her arms around Quinn and held on. "I won't let you push me away!"

Quinn began struggling against the embrace. Rachel had her pushed up against the door. She met the blonde's molten gaze with equal ferocity. "You just don't get it, Rachel!" Quinn was practically screaming. "I have to push you away."

Rachel suddenly found herself braced against the wall as Quinn managed to flip their positions. Her arms were now pinned on either side of her head as the blonde stared at her with unblinking eyes that had turned a brilliant shade of green. Quinn closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the diva's and Rachel's breath hitched at the pain she had glimpsed briefly in those beautiful eyes. "It all just hurts too much," the blonde's voice dropped to a whisper.

"Why does it hurt?" Rachel responded quietly as she searched the blonde's face.

"Because of this," Quinn stated as she bent her head and covered Rachel's mouth with a kiss.

RQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQRQ

From the moment Quinn had awakened in Rachel's arms, she had been afraid of this moment; the moment when her deepest feelings were on display. She was too used to being the second choice, the one who wasn't good enough, the forgotten friend. She had made her decision to move on and let Rachel go. She was trying to protect herself from the pain of always being the friend on the sidelines who had to watch the person she loved with someone else. She had made it through high school as that person, but they were adults now. Soon Rachel would get married to someone and have children. Quinn had tortured herself with the knowledge that she would only ever get to be the occasional sitter and honorary aunt. She had willed herself to be the friend Rachel needed in the past, but she just couldn't do it anymore; the pain was too overwhelming. She needed something back.

Earlier, when she was in Rachel's arms, she had decided to hide her feelings, but the resolve she was so proud of had crumbled when the brunette had pinned her by the door. Arousal shot through her body and she had reversed their positions in order to pin the diva. Their eyes met and her arousal only increased from Rachel's searching gaze and the feeling of their bodies pressed so tightly together. What she had wanted so badly was momentarily in her arms and she couldn't stand it. She had to have at least one taste of the brunette that held her heart.

Quinn was a goner from the moment she touched her lips to Rachel's. At the first taste of the diva, she traced the brunette's lips with a frantic tongue and thrust it past plump lips. She plundered Rachel's mouth with all the pent-up love and passion she'd always felt. She dropped Rachel's arms and pulled the girl closer as she deepened the kiss. Blood roared in her ears as she shuddered against the brunette, her body pressing the smaller girl into the door as her desire threatened to take over.

Rachel whimpered into Quinn's mouth, which broke through the haze of pleasure and gave Quinn the control to push away from the brunette. The blonde backed up several steps and almost tripped over a rug on the floor. She closed her eyes at her own clumsiness before glancing up to see the diva's reaction.

Rachel's arms hung limply at her sides and her eyes were glazed over. Quinn had to fight back a moan when she watched the brunette's limber tongue flick out over kiss-swollen lips as if to catch one last taste. Transfixed, the blonde stepped forward to recapture that tempting mouth, but Rachel held up her hand and moved to put some distance between them.

**A/N2: They finally kissed! What did you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: **Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews; they make my day! Glee was actually pretty good last Thursday. Who knew Kurt looked so good shirtless?! As usual I don't own anything.**

Chapter 9

"Why does it hurt?" Rachel searched the blonde's face for answers but just saw raw pain.

"Because of this." Quinn whispered as she bent down and pressed firm lips against hers.

When those warm soft lips touched hers Rachel's mind blanked. A sharp haze of pleasure settled over her as Quinn's tongue entered her mouth and stroked hers. As the kiss deepened, Rachel felt heat pool in her belly and between her legs. She vaguely recognized the signs of arousal as she tilted her head to get a better angle on the kiss. Dimly, she felt Quinn push her harder into the door even as her body quivered in response.

Suddenly the pressure against her body was gone as Quinn took several hurried steps backwards. The loss was unwelcome as it put an end to the fiery kiss. Trying to recapture that feeling she licked her lips to remember and savor Quinn's taste. Desire shot through her once again when the blonde moaned softly. Glancing up she met darkened hazel eyes that glittered with anticipation. The brunette thought about reattaching her lips to Quinn's until her brain fully caught up with the situation. Right as Quinn moved in her direction, Rachel put up her hand while she tried desperately to make sense of things.

"Wh...What was that?," Rachel croaked, oddly surprised she could still speak.

"That's why we can't ever be friends," Quinn responded quietly. "I'm in love with you."

"You can't be in love with me!," Rachel cried. Her mind was reeling. Quinn Fabray was in love with her!? How did this happen? When? How long? These a dozen other questions fluttered through her mind as she took in the former Cheerio. The girl was braced for battle, head held high, eyes and face hard as stone.

"Don't tell me how I feel, Rachel," Quinn snapped. She pinched her nose against the sudden headache and sighed. Her shoulders dropped and her eyes shuttered as she looked back at Rachel. "I'm sorry, okay? I never wanted you to know. I really tried not to, but I can't help it." Tears welled up in her eyes and Rachel felt her heart clench.

"I..I have to go," Rachel announced. "I can't handle this right now." Her own eyes filled with tears as she turned to run, not even caring that she was still in her night clothes. As she wrenched the door open an angry Latina stormed into the room.

"Santana! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question, Shrimp." Santana paused. "I'm here because of the disappearing act you pulled this weekend. Kurt has been even more dramatic than usual. He was annoying me so I came to find you before I was forced to slap him straight." Her voice softened, "I had to get here before you or Q did something stupid."

"Too late for that," Quinn muttered bitterly.

"What did you do, Q? You best not have hurt my Hobbit."

"Don't call her that!"

"What did you do?"

"I told her the truth!" Quinn exclaimed.

"So we slept together! Big deal! No one cares!" Santana yelled out. "Is that why you started pulling away from all of us after Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillbury's trainwreck of a wedding?"

"Stop."

The phrase was uttered quietly but Quinn and Santana both turned to look at Rachel. She looked at them both with wounded eyes as she choked out, "You two slept together?" Without waiting for an answer, the brunette practically ran from the room.

Quinn started to chase her, but Santana blocked her path. "Let her go. She needs some time. Now tell me what the hell is going on?"

Quinn sighed, "Go get her, San and make sure she's okay, then come back. We have a lot to talk about."

* * *

An hour later and Quinn still hadn't stopped pacing. She was worried about Rachel. The diva had yet to come back. After the girl had run out of the room, the blonde had sent Santana after the little songbird. She sat on her bed and sighed with frustration. She hadn't meant to blurt out a declaration of love, but her feelings had been bottled up for so long that it was nearly impossible to contain them.

She had tripped, stumbled over her own heart and now she had to deal with the consequences. She got up again and walked around her room. As she paced, Quinn tried to organize her thoughts. Her plan to move on and get over Rachel was obviously not working, but she was hesitant to pursue Rachel romantically. The girl had suffered a traumatic loss and was still recovering. The last thing Quinn wanted to do was push Rachel into something if the diva wasn't ready.

She replayed the kiss over and over in her head. The memories filled her mind: the pressure of firm lips yielding against hers, a nimble tongue dancing in her mouth, and the press of soft curves against her own. The most significant detail about that kiss-Rachel kissed her back. Quinn stopped pacing and pressed a hand over her breastbone, trying to stifle the hope rising in her heart.

A knock at the door interrupted her musings and she opened it, only to find Jamie on the other side.

**A/N:2 Sorry this chapter was so short. The next chapter will give Quinn and Jamie some closure, as well as have Rachel and Santana talking about Quinn.**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I finally reached over 100 follows. This is posted today in honor of those people. Thank you to all who take time to review. Your comments are appreciated. This chapter has closure for Jamie and progress for Faberry. I do not own anything except my OC Jamie. **

Chapter 10

Jamie smiled awkwardly at Quinn as she walked into the room. She strolled over to the couch, sat down, and looked up at Quinn as she patted the seat next to her. Quinn cleared her throat before joining the tall brunette.

"How are you doing, Quinn?" Jamie asked softly. "I saw Rachel and another girl at the bookstore. They were getting her some clothes. I figured you might be here, so I thought I would drop by."

"That's our friend Santana. She was worried about Rachel and came to get her" The blonde took a deep breath before looking up at Jamie. "I'm so sorry, Jamie. I never meant to hurt you," Quinn began, but the tall brunette just grabbed her and gave her a hug.

"I know, Quinn. I've known that you were hung up on someone since the day we met. You just looked so lost and alone, so I arranged to bump into you. When you flirted with me I decided to help you come to terms with whatever it was that was bothering you."

"But why? I don't understand."

Jamie looked at her sadly. "Because you reminded me of me. I left someone behind and I regret every day that I didn't say what was in my heart. She got married last month and I was devastated. Maybe it was stupid, but I thought that we could help each other."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"For the same reason you didn't. The pain was still too fresh. We were having some innocent fun together and keeping the pain away."

"I'm still sorry, Jamie. I wanted to feel the same way about you that I do about Rachel, but I can't. For better or worse she's in my heart. And for whatever it's worth, that other girl is a fool. You are amazing. You were sweet, patient, and caring with me and some girl in the future will be very lucky."

Jamie's eyes glistened as she smiled tremulously at the blonde. "It's okay, Quinn. And for the record I think she has feelings for you."

"I doubt it. Even if she does, I can't do anything about it right now," Quinn sighed.

"Why not?" Jamie asked curiously.

Quinn sighed again and immediately launched into her and Rachel's shared history and the recent events involving Finn.

"Wow," Jamie muttered after Quinn had finished, "Maybe the cliches about lesbian drama are true." Quinn chuckled as Jamie continued, "I'm sorry for your loss, Quinn. It always hurts to lose someone that you love, even if it's just as a friend. But she was in love with him, so she may not be ready to even consider being with you. I think that for right now you should just be a shoulder for Rachel, someone she can turn to for comfort. She knows your feelings now, so the next move has to be hers."

* * *

Rachel snuggled into the soft comfort of the large Yale sweatshirt. She had run from Quinn's room in such an emotional state that she had been completely unaware that she was clad only in her pajamas. Thankfully Santana had caught up with her and dragged her to the school bookstore to get her something to wear.

The two brunettes settled into a booth at one of the campus's many coffee shops. Rachel didn't know where to begin. Her mind was still reeling from the knowledge that Quinn was in love with her; that the blonde had slept with Santana. She opted to ignore that last part. The brunette had enough to deal with regarding Quinn's feelings. She had replayed the kiss over and over in her mind. The kiss had made her feel alive, powerful. It had also made her feel safe and cherished. She pushed those traitorous thoughts away as she sipped her soy latte. Finn had made her feel all those things once and now he was gone.

She felt Santana softly grasping her hand. "What happened, Rachel?"

Rachel looked up, "Quinn loves me. Sh...she kissed me and told me she's in love with me." The diva paused to watch the news sink in. To her utter surprise the Latina smiled.

"Finally! It's been so tiring to watch her ass moon over you. Sometimes it seemed like the sexual tension between you two would suffocate the choir room." Santana cackled, "I mean really? She told you about Yale before anyone else, she rushed to your wedding, she gave you her crown and she gave you train passes." Santana narrowed her eyes at Rachel, "The real question is-what are you going to do now that you know?"

The diva nearly spit out her coffee as realization crashed into her. "I don't know!," she spluttered. "It's Quinn, the epitome of perfection, and I just...it's.. She trailed off and Santana looked at her knowingly.

"I didn't hear you say that you don't have any feelings for her," Santana stated quietly. Rachel felt her chest tighten at the Latina's next words. "How do you feel about her?"

Rachel sniffled as she contemplated the question. She'd always cared about Quinn in some way. She remembered convincing her to come back to glee, talking with her in the school restroom, and singing with her. She recalled their conversation in the hallway during Prom and the look on Quinn's face as they stared at each other and the pride on the blonde's face after prom queen was announced. She thought about how Quinn would often watch her sing and the light in those soft hazel-green eyes. The diva raised her eyes to meet Santana's.

The little diva spoke softly at first, "I really care about Quinn. We've been through so much and ever since Finn died all I've wanted is to talk to her." Her voice rose angrily, "I don't understand how she could claim to love me and then abandon me when I needed her most!"

Santana countered, "You stopped talking to her. She told me that you and her hadn't spoken in weeks. Why did you stop emailing and texting her? After your pregnancy scare you stopped talking to her completely. Even before that you hadn't emailed her in weeks, not even to answer her emails. You completely blanked her at that mess of a wedding and all so you could get your mack on with Finn." Santana kept going, "She was looking forward to seeing you so much. I had to keep changing the subject so she'd stop talking about how proud she was of you and how talented you are. It was disgusting!"

The pain in her chest doubled at Santana's words. She knew that she'd been caught up in some life drama and had neglected Quinn terribly. "So why didn't she say anything?" Rachel wondered aloud.

"Because Quinn never wanted to put that kind of pressure on you. She figured that you stopped caring when you no longer replied to her messages or emails, so she ran. She was stupidly trying to protect her heart by letting you go."

Rachel toyed with her straw as she swirled her coffee. She ached for Quinn and the pain she had inadvertently caused the blonde. The diva looked up at Santana with determination. "I need to talk to Quinn."

**A/N2: The end! Just kidding. Rachel and Quinn still have to work some things out, but at least now they'll start talking.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Ugh Rachel and Sam is almost as bad as Rachel and Finn. I have nothing good to say to Glee right now and I still don't own anything.**

Chapter 11

Quinn felt lighter after her conversation with Jamie. She and the lanky brunette had parted ways as friends and there were little to no hard feelings. Despite feeling better about the situation with Jamie, she was still restless. Santana and Rachel had yet to return from wherever they went. Quinn decided to be productive, so she tidied her room. Not content with that, she moved on to clean the kitchen and sort her laundry. In the middle of her task her phone pinged. Quinn hurriedly picked it up and opened the text message from Santana. She was grateful for remembering to give the Latina her new number. The message was typical Santana. ** Cmng bck! U bst b nice 2 th Hobbit! **She sighed in relief and typed out a response. At least they were coming back and she would have a chance to undo some of the damage she had inadvertently caused.

About twenty minutes later there was a sharp knock on the door. Wiping her suddenly damp palms on her jeans, Quinn took a deep breath and opened the door. Before she could even say anything a tiny blur pounced on her and burrowed into her arms. "I'm so sorry, Quinn," Rachel's voice was muffled by Quinn's sweatshirt.

Quinn gently lifted Rachel's chin until their eyes met. Her smile was soft and remorseful. "Sweetie, why are you apologizing? I'm the one that's sorry. I let my own pain get in the way of being the friend you needed and I'll always regret it," the blonde whispered back.

"Ugh! You two are gross! I'm heading back to New York. Berry, I already texted the pretty princess to let him know that you were safe. Q, don't give me a reason to bring back the razor blades in the hair. Later, bitches." Santana whirled and strode away.

Both girls were frozen in each other's arms as they watched Santana perform her own version of a diva storm out. They turned to look at each other and blushed before breaking into laughter. Before any awkwardness could return Quinn gently disentangled their arms and pulled Rachel into her room by the hand. Keeping their hands connected, she maneuvered the brunette onto the couch and sat down. The blonde laced her fingers with Rachel's to hold on to that connection as she prepared for the inevitable awkward conversation. She cleared her throat and raised her eyes to meet Rachel's.

Rachel beat her to the punch. "So," she whispered shyly, "how long have you been in love with me?"

Quinn smiled softly at the little diva. "Leave it to you to ask the tough question first." She sighed. Her slender fingers played nervously with tan ones as she gathered her thoughts. "I first started noticing an attraction during my pregnancy." The blonde ignored the sharp intake of breath from the little brunette as she pressed on. "I thought it was hormonal, but it didn't go away. I tried everything to stay away from you, but it only got stronger. And then after that summer after everything happened with B..Beth and Shelby, you know, when we bonded. I just couldn't get you out of my head." Quinn paused to look into Rachel's eyes. "I was afraid of losing everything again, so I wanted to get my reputation back and be on top. At least my life was manageable that way. So when school started I decided to think of new ways to torture you, but I just couldn't bear hurting you like that anymore. Then I went after Sam, so that I had a distraction from thinking about you."

"Is that why you helped me with Finn?" Rachel interrupted.

"Yeah. I just moved back in with my mother and everything at home was still in pieces. My parents were going through a divorce and my mom was trying to stop drinking. I couldn't add to those problems by telling my mother that I was attracted to girls, so I threw myself into getting my reputation back. I helped you because it was a win-win situation. If Finn wanted me, then I could make it back to the top and make you hate me and if he chose you I wouldn't be tempted to act on my feelings for you."

Quinn took in the shocked expression on Rachel's face. "Is this too much?," she asked gently as she lifted a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind the brunette's ear.

A tiny shiver worked down Rachel's spine before she squeaked, "It's f...fine. Keep going."

"Then everything went to hell after I cheated on Sam and you threw that party." Rachel grimaced at the memory.

"Ugh! I wish I could go back in time and stop my horrendous wardrobe choices that night."

"I thought you were adorable, if a little um overdressed." Rachel smiled as Quinn continued, "I knew that I was a goner when you made out with Blaine. It made me want to rip out every hair on his overly gelled head."

The diva giggled inadvertently at the scowl on Quinn's face. Without realizing it, she shifted closer to the blonde.

Quinn smiled at Rachel before dropping her head in shame. "I tried so hard to push you away after that. I was cruel to you and I used Finn to get prom queen and then I...I slapped you." Tears dripped down the blonde's face as she got lost in the memory. "My life had fallen apart and I just wanted one thing to go right for me. I wanted to make my mother proud. I just needed someone to blame and..."

"It's okay, Quinn," Rachel stated softly, "I forgave you for that when it happened. I knew that you didn't mean to hurt me. You looked more hurt than I did." She reached up with both hands to wipe away the tears on Quinn's pale cheeks.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to kiss you that night." The blonde lifted a hand to trap one of Rachel's against her cheek. "You were so beautiful and comforting and all I wanted was to press my lips to yours and confess everything."

Rachel's throat closed up at the emotion shining out of damp green eyes. The normal hazel hue was a brilliant green that glowed with affection. She felt her own eyes dampen at the knowledge that Quinn had been so miserable even as her heart beat erratically at the blonde's words.

"A...and then came Jean's funeral and he broke up with me and you kissed him at Nationals and I went a little crazy. That summer I just thought that I could be happy if I got Beth back. I would finally have someone love me unconditionally." Rachel squeezed her hands in sympathy and the blonde continued, "And then you asked me to come back to glee and I couldn't say no." Tears streamed down her face once again.

The brunette leaned forward and grabbed Quinn in a tight hug. The blonde buried her face in Rachel's shoulder as she cried. Rachel was amazed at the emotion pouring out of the Quinn. She was normally so aloof and cold that seeing her break down was heart-wrenching.

It took a few minutes for her to calm down, but Quinn immediately pulled out of Rachel's embrace to move along with her confession. "I stopped resisting being your friend after that. You stopped me from ruining my baby's life and alienating everyone I cared about. When you asked if we were friends and I said 'kind of;' it was all I could do not to crush you in my arms and never let go."

"I do recall a change in your attitude towards me after that," Rachel mused as they clasped hands once again.

Quinn hesitated before tentatively asking Rachel, "Some of the rest of this story involves Finn. Are you okay with me bringing up my and your history with him?"

Rachel squared her shoulders and nodded. "I'm well aware of my past mistakes involving Finn. It might hurt to remember, but I'm finding that talking about him helps, even if it involves his and my flaws." She paused before stating quietly, "He and I weren't together when he died because neither of us were ready. We both needed to grow some more before being together was possible.."

"Okay, Rach. I just want to make sure that you're ready for the rest of this conversation." Quinn took a deep breath, "The hardest part for me was when you and Finn wanted to get married. I knew that you weren't ready. Either of you. You were both a little lost and grabbed each other. I couldn't let you give up on your dreams, so I tried to talk you out of it. And then came Regionals and I saw you sing to Finn and I asked you about it."

The little diva's breath caught at Quinn's admission. She remembered that hallway conversation and the look on Quinn's face. She had thought the question 'you were singing to Finn and only to Finn right?' had been odd.

"I couldn't deny anymore that he made you happy. Since that was all I wanted I decided to support you, only I was late and had that stupid accident, but I considered the temporary loss of using my legs a small price to pay if it saved you from screwing up your future."

Rachel flinched at the memory, but piped up, "Why did you give me prom queen? It was everything you wanted."

Santanna and I both felt that it was a way to make a difference. You needed your confidence back and I wanted to help. You looked so beautiful on that dance floor and if I had been able to do so I would've tried to dance with you."

Rachel stayed quiet to encourage Quinn to continue.

"You know the rest. I kinda lost my way for awhile when I got here. I hooked up with a professor because he wasn't an immature high school boy and I joined a secret society because status is something I understand. It's a protective shield."

"What about Santana?"

Quinn hung her head in shame. "I'm sorry you found out that way, Rachel. She was hurting over Britney and I was angry at you and myself. I hadn't spoken with you in weeks and you completely ignored me. I let my anger and jealousy get the better of me and I did something stupid. I thought of you the whole time, just like Santana thought of Britney."

The little brunette let that sink in before a thought occurred. The memory of Quinn in the arms of another woman only a few days before was still fresh she repressed a wave of irrational jealousy. "And what about Jamie? What does your girlfriend think about all this? I did after all interrupt y..your u..um"

The blonde was quick to reassure the diva. "We didn't. I...I couldn't go through with it."

"I heard you laughing! You were just in a sheet! I'm not stupid, Quinn." Rachel tried to get up, but Quinn pulled her back to the couch.

"Calm down, Rach. Of course you're not stupid. And we were laughing because the situation was awkward. I was wrapped in a sheet because we almost got there, but I didn't want to have sex with someone else that wasn't you."

Brown eyes searched green ones for any trace of deceit. Seeing nothing but sincerity, Rachel's breath hitched. "So now what do we do?"

"Well I think it's your turn. Why don't you tell me how you feel about everything?"

**A/N2: So there you have it; progress! I hope I did alright with Quinn's explanation. I wanted to highlight some important moments, but not go into too much detail as Rachel was there also. Hopefully that came across. I only wanted her to use examples to show her own feelings. Next chapter is Rachel's feelings. Rate and review please.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: The Christmas season is upon us! A slightly fluffy chapter in honor of the holiday season and the announcement that Dianna Agron and Heather Morris are back for the 100th episode!**

Chapter 12

At Quinn's words, uttered so softly, Rachel just wanted to run away, but something held her in place. Maybe it was hazel eyes, so patient on hers or maybe it was the firm, gentle pressure of fingers laced with her own. Whatever it was, Rachel resolved to stay and see it through. "I don't know where to start. It's all so overwhelming. You love me an...and I care about you, but I'm...I don't know what to feel."

She gazed at Quinn resolutely before murmuring, "You've always been important to me." She ducked her head shyly and continued in a clearer voice. "I was always fascinated by you and I wanted nothing more than to be your friend. It's the reason I chased after you so many times to bring you back to glee. Now I know that sometimes the reason you left was because of me. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that you care so much."

"I do, Rach." Quinn stated quietly.

"Santana and I talked. She made me realize that I'm partly to blame for the rift between us. I got caught up with school and a new boyfriend and at the wedding all of my feelings for Finn came crashing down. I slept with him and avoided everyone else." Rachel looked up at Quinn through her lashes as she spoke. "I have a confession to make." She closed her eyes guiltily. "Earlier this year, I thought I was pregnant. It terrified me. All I could see were my dreams going down the drain. I wanted to call you so badly, but I was afraid that you would be angry at me and disappointed."

A shaft of pain lodged in Quinn's heart. "I would never be disappointed with you, Rachel. Even if you had been pregnant, I would have supported you."

"I would have gone crazy if not for Santana. She figured it out and helped me."

"I'm glad you have Santana and Kurt, Rach, but remember that you have me too. Running away from you is one of the dumbest things I've ever done and I want to stop. I want to be the one you call if you need someone to talk to. I was stupid to let you go on ignoring me without at least trying to find out why."

"So what do we do now?"

Quinn smiled at her sadly. "That has to be up to you. You're still suffering from a major loss and you aren't even sure of your feelings for me. All I want to know is if you're willing to give me a chance sometime in the future."

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day Rachel's breath caught in her throat. Quinn wanted a chance and despite her reservations, Rachel wanted to be able to give her one. "Can I show you something?" She asked Quinn.

"Of course you can." Rachel lifted her shirt and lowered her shorts. Written in delicate script was a small tattoo of Finn's name on her abdomen.

Without thinking Quinn lifted a hand to trace over the letters. The sensitive brushing of cool fingertips over her hip and belly made Rachel quiver. She bit her lip as she locked eyes with the blonde. "It's beautiful, sweetie. I understand why you wanted this," Quinn murmured.

"I do feel something for you, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for a new relationship."

"Why don't we try just talking for awhile. We make a pact to call each other a few times a week and email or text. I'll try to visit soon. If you want we can even go out as friends. We don't have to date or do anything you're not ready for, okay?"

"Thank you, Quinn."

"Any time, sweetie."

* * *

A few hours later Quinn and Rachel had discussed things at length and agreed to work together on their as yet undefined relationship. Now they were napping peacefully with Rachel wrapped securely in Quinn's arms. Their legs were tangled together and the blonde's body was draped around the shorter brunette.

It was almost dinnertime and hunger pangs finally woke the two girls. Rachel shifted within Quinn's arms and turned to face the blonde. Molten hazel-green eyes met hers and without thinking, the brunette pressed a quick kiss to plump lips.

Quinn gave her a soft smile as they got out of bed. "What was that?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to kiss you. Is that okay?" Rachel blushed.

"You can kiss me any time you want, Rach. Let's go get something to eat. There's a great little restaurant a few blocks from here that has some great vegan options."

They dressed quickly and made the short trek across campus. The restaurant was small and unassuming on the outside, but warm and welcoming inside. The hostess sat them in a corner booth and handed them menus before leaving.

Twenty minutes later had both girls sipping on water and chatting happily as they ate. Now that everything was out in the open conversation was easier. Rachel had ordered a large salad with spinach, kale, and chard mixed with blueberries and strawberries. It was topped with toasted almonds and walnuts and a raspberry vinaigrette. Quinn had baked chicken over a bed of spinach with roasted potatoes and grilled asparagus. The food was delicious and the atmosphere was quiet and romantic.

"Have you been here before?" Rachel asked, curious about Quinn's life at Yale.

"I came here with my mom when she dropped me off in the fall, but that's it. I made a note to bring you here when you visited though, because the food was delicious and you have a lot of options."

"So what are we going to do the rest of the night?"

"I've been thinking about it. The end of year play starts this weekend and runs for a couple of weeks until right before finals. Would you like to see a play with me this evening?"

"Which play?"

"It's Rogers and Hammerstein's _South Pacific_. Are you interested?"

"I would love to see it with you, Quinn."

"Great, let's go back to the room and change. It starts at seven, so we have a couple of hours to get ready." Quinn paid the check over Rachel's protests and they walked back to the campus arm in arm, happy for the chance to be together.

**A/N2: Some baby steps for Faberry! Rachel is trying to move on, but wants to take things slowly and Quinn will be patient. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: How adorable has Glee been lately. Here's a slightly fluffy chapter to celebrate all the fun stuff Glee has been doing. Spoilers for Season 5 if you haven't been watching.**

Chapter 13

**Hey, sweetie. I just wanted to say hi! I've got a huge paper due today and my study group runs late, so my phone will be off tonight. Break a leg at rehearsal and I'll call you this weekend! - Q. **

Rachel smiled at the text on her phone. Ever since she and Quinn had spent the weekend together, the blonde made an effort to call or text everyday and email weekly. She was attentive, but not smothering and Rachel could feel her walls crumbling under the gentle attention.

It had been a hectic few weeks. Blaine and Sam had visited looking for college options, Kurt had been pushing the band, and the diva was also contending with school and Funny Girl. So much had happened in such a short time.

Blaine and Sam's visit had been wonderful. It had been fun singing with her old glee pals and helping Sam with his photo shoot. Even the brief dance with Sam had taken her mind off of her stress. Kurt's band had performed its first gig and booked its second. Finals were looming, rehearsals were getting more intense, but despite everything, all Rachel could think about lately was Quinn.

She kept daydreaming about their weekend together. The blonde had taken her on a perfect date and they weren't even together. Glancing at her phone, she sighed. There was still a lot of work to do. She mentally gathered her thoughts and sat on the couch to get to work. She had rehearsal later and she wanted to be perfect, so the next few hours would be devoted to memorizing lines.

The diva was bent over her script, highlighting her lines and making notes in the margins. Every week, she took her copy of the script and compared the scenes she was working on to ones from the movie. She wrote out ways she could emulate the great Barbara Streisand and ways she could infuse herself into the character. Rachel wanted to do her best, but after the wig debacle, she was learning to run things by her director first.

A few hours later and Rachel was on the subway headed to rehearsal. They were working on a new scene today. The director wanted to get the blocking down and check their progress on dialogue. He was temperamental and critical, but he wanted the best out of his performers. More than once Rachel was grateful for Ms. July's harsh teaching methods and criticisms, because the experience helped avoid problems with his nitpicking.

By the time the director was satisfied with everything it was almost midnight. The diva was beyond grateful that she didn't have class on the weekends. Wary of the subway at night, Rachel hailed a cab to get home.

* * *

The apartment was quiet when she finally made it home and she was grateful for the silence. Rehearsal and the trek across town had exhausted the little brunette. The walk was a bit intense and she often had her rape whistle and pepper spray at the ready. She wearily rode the rickety elevator to her floor and padded down the hallway to her door. Rachel kicked off her shoes and trudged to her room before falling on her bed. She was craving the soft comfort of her mattress and was completely unprepared for what she found instead. The brunette yelped when she landed on a hard lump that was under the covers. She grabbed her comforter and ripped it off the bed exposing the now awake Quinn Fabray, who was rubbing her eyes in annoyance. Without thinking, Rachel leaped onto the blonde and smothered her in a hug.

Quinn's grumpy pout smoothed into a beaming smile as she relished holding the brunette. Her surprise had been well executed. She had worked extra hard this week to make it to New York. She had finished her paper early and blown off her study group because she missed Rachel and wanted to see her.

Rachel pulled back slightly, but stayed in the protective circle of Quinn's arms. She felt her shoulders loosen as the tension of the day melted under the blonde's molten gaze. Their eyes met and held for several moments. Rachel felt a flutter in her belly when Quinn tore her gaze away only to zero in on her lips. She abruptly sat up, "I...I've got to take a shower. I'm covered in taxi and subway germs."

Quinn smiled wickedly and Rachel felt her pulse spike. "I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere."

The brunette forced herself away from the blonde and quickly ran through her nightly routine. Twenty minutes later, she was showered and moisturized and had brushed her teeth. She faltered for a moment over what pajamas to wear, but settled on a white tank-top and tight red shorts.

True to her word, Quinn was still there, sitting in bed with a book in her lap. Rachel took a moment to appreciate the scene. Soft lamplight highlighted the blonde, who looked adorable in reading glasses with her long, unkempt hair flowing past her jaw. A creak in the floorboards had Quinn glancing up at Rachel, who shivered at the emotion in rapidly darkening hazel eyes. Unconsciously she moved toward the blonde and crawled into bed. Quinn immediately reached for the diva and pulled her into an embrace. They cuddled together for a few minutes before Rachel found her powers of speech.

"I thought you were busy tonight."

Quinn chuckled. "I wanted to surprise you. I also knew you were busy and didn't want to get in the way of your schedule. You would have wanted to meet me if I'd told you I was coming."

Rachel pressed closer to the blonde and sighed contentedly as she nodded. The soft aroma of lavender and vanilla wafting off of the blonde was relaxing and lulling her to sleep. "I'm off tomorrow," the diva murmured hopefully as she stifled a yawn.

"I know. I checked your schedule and verified it with Santana. We can spend the whole day together!I've just really missed you and I wanted to visit so we could..." Quinn trailed off at the light snore from the tiny brunette. She reverently brushed damp, silky hair away from the Rachel's face before pressing her lips to the sleeping girl's cool cheek. Trying to not wake the brunette, the blonde shifted carefully to get comfortable and closed her eyes to follow Rachel into dreamland.

**A/N: Slightly fluffy chapter. Warning for angst ahead. Rachel takes a step towards Quinn, but she may not be as ready as she thinks. Usual disclaimers still apply unless glee has miraculously come under my ownership.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Here's a little dose of smut for those of you who have been so patient. I always prefer the stories that have the build-up of tension. It makes the payoff so much better. As always I don't own Glee or any of the attractions in New York.**

**This is probably the last update until after the holidays. Merry Christmas, everyone!**

Chapter 14

It was perfect. Her arm was asleep and pinned beneath the weight of the diva, her leg was asleep, and she had a crick in her neck, but it was perfect. Rachel was still asleep and burrowed into her, and the blonde found it to be adorable. Their legs were entangled and they were pressed together in a tight embrace. Face to face with what she desired most, Quinn couldn't help herself. She began pressing soft kisses on Rachel's forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally lips. She meant it to be reverent and loving, but her noble (somewhat) intentions quickly fell by the wayside. The brunette's lips were surprisingly firm and they suddenly parted to accept and deepen the kiss. Quinn's blood heated when Rachel's tongue ghosted along her lower lip, beckoning Quinn's tongue to come out and play. The blonde answered the invitation and rolled over to pin the diva beneath her as she continued the assault on the the brunette's mouth.

Rachel opened her legs and Quinn settled between them as they kissed fiercely. The blonde's hand captured a breast and began kneading it softly. The little brunette whimpered and arched into Quinn's hand. Quinn ground her hips into the diva who began bucking her own hips in response. Tongues dueled and the only sounds that filled the otherwise silent room were little moans and harsh breaths with the occasional whimper. The blonde trailed her mouth down Rachel's sternum as she pulled up the diva's shirt with questing hands. Her hot mouth clamped onto Rachel's breast and suckled as her hips continued thrusting against the diva's narrower ones.

Quinn's mind was hazy with lust. She barely registered Rachel pushing against her. The taste of salt water broke through and she pulled back to see Rachel in tears. She scrambled to get up as Rachel curled into a ball on the other side of the bed. The sight of the diva being so vulnerable broke through the fog of arousal.

"What's wrong?" Quinn barely recognized her voice. It was low and rough with desire.

The diva looked up through her tears and began pulling on her shirt. "I..I'm not ready, Quinn. I was caught up in the moment...an...and it felt so good, but..."

Quinn cut her off, her heart was hammering in her ears. It was difficult to think, but she forced herself to gentle her tone. "It's okay, Rachel. I just got carried away when you kissed me back. I'm not expecting you to have sex with me. I just want a chance to win your heart. We'll get to sex later."

Rachel tried to smile at the blonde, but it came out as more of a grimace. "I'm telling you that I might not ever be ready. I...I just. You and Finn and...it's all so confusing."

Quinn's face turned affectionate as she pushed her disappointment to the back of her mind and she beckoned the diva to come closer. The brunette hesitated before returning to Quinn's arms. They settled back on the bed as the former Cheerio ran a hand down Rachel's back in a soothing motion. "Sweetie, I know that you loved Finn. I've never doubted that. I also know that while he would be confused as to the nature of our relationship, he would ultimately want your happiness. I want to make you happy Rachel, if you'll let me. I want everything with you. I want a life, a home, a family. I want to make your dreams come true. It's all I've ever wanted and I finally have the courage to tell you. I'm not giving up simply because you're not ready for anything physical, okay? And I don't want to rush you; everyone grieves in their own time. I know our history doesn't suggest it, but I _can_ be patient."

Rachel's eyes shined with unshed tears at the blonde's uncharacteristic ramble. "Okay." She snuggled back into the blonde, who felt the tension slowly drain from the diva's tiny frame. Her voice was muffled by the blonde's shoulder but Quinn still heard her murmur, "Thank you, Quinn."

The two girls settled back into bed and dozed for a few more hours until the sounds of Kurt and Santana moving around the apartment woke them. They rolled out of bed and dressed quickly, shyly avoiding watching each other before heading to the kitchen for a late breakfast. As she followed the diva into the kitchen, Quinn vowed that she would do whatever it took to help Rachel.

* * *

Rachel quietly sipped her coffee as Quinn chatted with Santana. Kurt had airily waved goodbye as she and Quinn entered the kitchen. He was headed into the city to get ideas for his wedding and compile a list for Blaine.

The little diva was still a little shell-shocked from her morning interlude with Quinn. Her body had unconsciously responded to the blonde's kisses and Rachel was aware that only her panic had prevented them from going any further. When she realized that it wasn't Finn who was making her feel so alive or so wanton, she had immediately felt guilt wash over her. She was being disloyal to her...whatever he had had been before he died. She knew that it was a little ridiculous to be so committed to someone who hadn't even been her boyfriend at the time of his death, but Finn had been a dream for so long that she was a little lost without him. She was struggling to find a new dream in the romance department. The idea that it might be Quinn was mind boggling. The blonde had been the unattainable ice queen in high school and a source of torment for Rachel. Despite forgiving her for their difficult history, Rachel was afraid of getting too close to Quinn. The girl had been important to her long before any possibility of a romance. Rachel had barely survived Finn's death and she worried that losing the blonde would break her beyond repair. The memory of Quinn's accident in high school weighed heavily on her mind.

Her thoughts turned to the girl in question. Quinn was everything Rachel could want in a partner; strong, caring, intelligent, stubborn, and, despite recent events, brave. They also had a rather explosive sexual chemistry, if the low thrum of arousal that still ran through her body was any indication. She could still feel soft lips and a questing tongue on her body...

"Rach?" Quinn's soft voice broke her out of the sensual memory.

Rachel jerked, spilling her coffee. "Sorry! Sorry...I'll...let me clean this up and we'll go explore the city today. There are so many things I want to show you; Central Park, MoMA, and the Empire State Building. We can even take a walk on Broadway." The brunette continued to ramble as a blush stained her cheeks from being caught fantasizing about the blonde.

A gentle hand on her arm stopped her mid-rant. She looked up and met Quinn's soft gaze. The blonde smiled at her and asked softly, "What if we went to the MoMA today? I've always wanted to see it."

"Okay," Rachel ground out through her clogged throat, "sounds like a plan." She hastily cleaned the counter and escaped into her bedroom to change. She almost collapsed against the makeshift door of her room. Now that she was aware of Quinn's attraction, it was becoming harder to ignore her own. Her mind may not have been ready to have sex with the blonde, but her body had a completely different opinion. Now she was going to spend the entire day with the woman who was determined to win her affections and sent her senses reeling without trying. It was going to be a long day.

**A/N2: Progress! Rachel is slowly coming to terms with Finn's death and is trying to move on. Up next will be a fluffy chapter of sightseeing and Quinn will be at her most charming. Be patient, Rachel is trying**.


End file.
